BETHLEHEM, Pa. — The warning was issued wrapped in a question.
“Do disturbing photographs disturb you?” Rohullah Balkhi asked.
With that, Balkhi, 46, an Afghan refugee and married father of four young children, hesitantly turned his iPhone screen toward his visitor.
- Rohullah Balkhi and his Afghan family struggle to make ends meet as they await a decision on their application for asylum
- Balkhi's employee in Afghanistan was hanged by the Taliban in 2022
- Giving folks in Lehigh Valley have come to the family's aid
It showed Balkhi’s dear friend and dutiful employee hanging from a noose at the hands of the Taliban in 2022.
“Abdul Rahman was my driver for my consulting company in my hometown of Mazar-e Sharif,” Balkhi said. “One day, I asked him to deliver computers and documents to one of our offices about two hours away. I told him to sleep there and I would meet him there in the morning.
“The next morning, I received a phone call from an associate there that the Taliban had destroyed our offices. And that something else had happened.
“This is what the Taliban does."Rohullah Balkhi, Afghan refugee
“This is what the Taliban does,” Balkhi said with a pained expression recently in an old apartment on Warren Place in Bethlehem.
There, he impatiently awaits word on his application for asylum that was filed almost a year ago.
On this Independence Day, when the nation celebrates the blessings of freedom from oppression, the Balkhi family waits for the day America will embrace them.
'What is taking so long?'
Balkhi is among tens of thousands of Afghan refugees in the United States, awaiting word on pending applications for asylum, according to the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, or USCIS.
A plausible explanation for the murder and the mayhem? Balkhi’s company, 3D Consulting, worked on programs designed to empower women.
“Why is the decision taking so long? Why?"Rohullah Balkhi, Afghan refugee
His actions were a direct violation of the philosophy of the Taliban. The Islamic Nationalist movement oppresses women, denying them rights to tertiary education, freedom of movement, any type of employment and positions of authority in public office.
Those found in violation of Taliban rule are dealt with in inhumane ways.
With Rahman’s murder, death had inched close — too close — to Balkhi’s family of wife, Dina; daughters Fabeha, 14, and Rabeha, 11; and sons Ahamad Tawhid, 13, and Khisraw, 2.
The time to leave for the freedom of America had arrived.
What remains uncertain is whether they will be allowed to call America home.
“Why is the decision taking so long?” Balkhi said. “Why?”
Slower asylum review
The Taliban’s takeover of Afghanistan in August 2021, shortly after the United States military withdrew after 20 years, has been devastating to Afghans.
Following the withdrawal, the Taliban’s reign of terror resumed. Balkhi moved his family north to Uzbekistan.
"With the Taliban there, life there is not living."Rohullah Balkhi, Afghan refugee
A year later, and with the assistance of folks in the Lehigh Valley, he and his family migrated to America and began working toward his Master's of business administration degree at Lehigh University. He finished in May.
He applied for asylum in November. His legal status in the United States is via the F-1 student visa.
Among the major reasons for slower asylum review times is that immigration forms have significantly increased over the past two decades — from fewer than 200 pages in 2003 to more than 700 pages in 2023.
Once approved, asylees are eligible for a host of benefits and services through the Health and Human Services Office of Refugee Resettlement.
Among the benefits are cash and medical assistance for up to 12 months, as well as Social Security, employment authorization and assistance securing affordable housing.
'The i's have to be dotted and t's crossed'
The family is safe, but not without worry.
Without being granted asylum, Balkhi cannot hold a job legally in the United States, stalling his recent offer to work as a manager for a pipe fitting project with Victaulic, of Easton, a global leading producer of mechanical pipe joining.
Being unable to work and provide for his family is taxing on Balkhi. One’s family is the single most important aspect of life in Afghanistan. Afghan culture is very collectivistic and people generally put their family’s interests before their own. This means that family responsibilities tend to hold greater importance than personal needs. Loyalty to one’s family also generally supersedes any obligations to one’s tribe or ethnicity.
Balkhi has no health insurance. Paying for medical prescriptions is a challenge.
“To be honest, sometimes I cry myself to sleep.”Rohullah Balkhi, a refugee from Afhanistan seeking asylum
A former work colleague from the US, Marla Gitterman, started a gofundme page to assist the family with expenses. More than $21,000 has been raised.
The Lehigh Valley’s heart and means have embraced this family in turmoil.
“It’s hard not to empathize with the family’s situation,” said Attorney Michael Renneisen, of Lehigh Immigration Law in Bethlehem, who is handling Balkhi’s asylum application.
“You look at the scenarios and say he’s a shoo-in [for asylum approval] because of the fear of persecution upon returning to their country.
“But all the i’s have to be dotted and t’s crossed. It’s in the hands of the USCIS under the Department of Homeland Security.
"At some point, we’ll have to appear at an office in Newark, New Jersey, to prove his driver was actually the one in the photo who was killed. If he’s approved, he’ll get asylee status for a year, and then try for approval for permanent status.”
'Everybody did something to help'
Gitterman has a name for those who have helped the family as they await word on asylum: Angels.
Women such as Pam Varkony, formerly of West Allentown, who was instrumental in arranging transportation from Afghanistan to the United States, then from JFK Airport in New York to temporary housing at Lehigh University.
Founder of Team Balkhi, Varkony also helped Balkhi apply for and subsequently get a 50% scholarship and student visa to complete his MBA at Lehigh in person, a degree he started online while in Afghanistan.
“He’s the type of person you want in this country," Varkony said. "Someone helping empower women. Knowing what’s going on in his country with the Taliban, what’s taking so long for him to receive asylum is frustrating. There’s just so much red tape.”
Gitterman praised Martha Phelps, a former member of the Lehigh-Allentown Chamber of Commerce, who helps the Balkhis with grocery shopping.
Kathy Calabrese, the founder and retired director of the Center for Gender Equity at Lehigh University, assists with transportation for the family.
“I kind of look at this as a need for a mother and four children who were isolated by language and social isolation."Nan Sell-Parry, retired family services manager at St. Luke’s University Health Network
Nan Sell-Parry, retired family services manager at St. Luke’s University Health Network, helped the family receive a WIC card and helped schedule inoculations for school and COVID vaccines.
She also helped find English as a Second Language, or ESL, services for the mom and children.
“I kind of look at this as a need for a mother and four children who were isolated by language and social isolation,” Sell-Parry said.
“My friend, Kim Jamison, found something in The Washington Post about doing ESL remotely. We raised money for 11 weeks to pay for the program. Dina finished it in February."
But that’s only one part of what they’re dealing with.
Nolan LeBlanc and Virginia Ellen of Allentown have helped the Balkhis. The family’s plight hits close to their heart, as the couple began fostering young Afghan boys years ago. They’ve helped the Balkhis receive dental care and even found a dentist who speaks Pashto.
Balkhi met Gitterman years ago when she was a supervisor for Business Council for Peace, or Bpeace, and hired him as a program manager in Afghanistan.
The U.S.-based Bpeace is a nonprofit that works in crisis-affected areas in America and abroad, including Afghanistan, to grow small- and medium-sized businesses, create significant employment for all and expand the economic power of women.
Gitterman had once arranged for Balkhi to visit the United States to participate in a leadership and professional development program at the Iacocca Institute at Lehigh University.
"They’re living on a wing and a prayer. But they do have a lot of us who care for and about them.”Nan Sell-Parry, retired family services manager of St. Luke's University Health Network.
On this, his second visit to the US, Balkhi wants to stay. As he and the family wait, the stress is becoming intolerable.
“I think there is so much overwhelming cultural, financial and emotional flooding for this family right now as they wait to hear [the] news they need to hear,” Sell-Parry said. “In the meantime, they need our help. And they’ll get it.”
'I'm ... so ... exhausted'
On this day, Balkhi appears weary from yet another day when good fortune has ignored him.
Among the dining room table clutter are a partially eaten muffin, an untouched glass of apple juice, a roll of paper towels and a few notebooks with addition and subtraction tables.
A small yellow-and-orange artificial floral centerpiece bears the telling inscription: Gather Together.
"We can’t go back to that. We just can’t.”Rohullah Balkhi, Afghan refugee
Balkhi runs a hand through his tangled dark hair with flecks of gray and sighs. This man of accomplishment and humanity then proceeds to pour out the details of a once-promising but now troubled life.
“I’m … so … exhausted,” Balkhi said. “We had to leave our home last August because of the Taliban. I was forced to leave my career and our friends.
“I have brothers and a sister back there I worry about. My mother — she’s 67 — is still back there. She has multiple diseases and conditions — cardiac issues, arthritis and one kidney that doesn’t function. I was her only caregiver. I worry for her.
“But now I’m here. I don’t have a job. I have no health insurance. We are waiting to find out about asylum. We cannot go back home the way the Taliban is now, with the fear of oppression and violence, especially against women. We can’t go back to that.”
Balkhi bows his head contemplatively, reiterating in a whisper: “We just can’t.”
The maddening quiet in the room surrounded by bare walls and evaporating hope is interrupted only by the steady hum of an oscillating fan blowing softly.
“To be honest,” he confessed, as tears filled his eyes, “sometimes I cry myself to sleep.”
'I dream of that day'
With his family’s life a maelstrom of uncertainty, stress and fear, Balkhi said he finds temporary comfort in an ancient quote: “Do a good deed and throw it in the sea. One day it will come back to you in the desert.”
And so, while searching for a way out of his Taliban-created desert here in America, he waits.
Balkhi is a man of accomplishment. He has directed his energies toward fighting illiteracy, poverty, and corruption in Afghanistan. He has addressed the topics at The Pentagon.
His is a life devoted to the betterment of others. A selfless life worth celebrating.
But mired in political limbo and worn down by worry, those past successes are mere parasols beneath the downpour.
The days of waiting are interminably long. Seated at his dining room table, Balkhi shares details of a life fraying at the edges.
“When? When?”Rohullah Balkhi, Afghan refugee
He wears a green pullover shirt and a weighty expression of exhaustion. That he may wonder when the fates will recognize his good deeds and cast peace upon his family is understandable.
“When?” he whispered. “When?”
Balkhi also wonders when he will learn the decision on his application for asylum — a process that has moved through the U.S. government system like cold molasses.
His hope is that the reciprocal tide of the giving sea will soon wash good fortune upon his thirsty shores.
“With the Taliban there, life there is not living,” Balkhi said. “I wait for the day when better things are coming — there for my people and here for my family.”
“I dream of that day.”
