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'It's not something that you will ever get over': Parents observe Bereaved Mother's Day in Easton

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Micaela Hood
/
LehighValleyNews.com
A memorial table of children who have passed was set up at the dinner for bereaved mothers in Easton.

EASTON, Pa. — The flicker from candles illuminated the photos of sons and daughters, as their mothers placed them on the table adorned with flowers.

That night, the women shed tears and shared laughter and stories as they offered one another support in the form of loving words and hugs.

About 100 mothers — all of whom lost a child — gathered inside the Blendery at Seven Sirens Brewery for a dinner held on Bereaved Mother's Day, May 5.

"He had a million-dollar smile and a huge heart."
Kathy Ann Noonan, about her late son, Christopher

The day, observed the first Sunday of May, is to honor the mothers who have lost a child or pregnancy, and also to recognize women who, because of infertility or other health reasons, can't be a mother.

The event was organized by Kathy Ann Noonan, who came up with the idea seven years ago after the passing of her son, Christopher, in 2015.

"Christopher loved to fish, he was an inline speed skater," Noonan said of the 25-year-old. "He loved his family, he loved his brother more than life. He had a million-dollar smile and a huge heart."

'Not something you will ever get over'

In years past, Noonan and her husband, Scott, would hold the dinner for a small group of moms in Palmer Township, pot-luck style.

"I needed to do something with my pain and I figured helping others deal with their pain would help me," Noonan said.

"I don't want moms to feel like they're alone. A lot of these moms that are here didn't even know that this day was for us — not that we want it."
Kathy Noonan, of Palmer Township

"I don't want moms to feel like they're alone. A lot of these moms that are here didn't even know that this day was for us — not that we want it."

This year, she posted the event to a Lehigh Valley-based Facebook group where it was shared by more than 1,500 people.

After the first location didn't pan out, Noonan said, she contacted the owners of Seven Sirens Brewery, who offered up the venue in the old Simon Silk Mill.

Jordan Serulneck, co-owner of the brewery, said they anticipated at least 175 mothers to show up.

Several businesses, including La Bella Via in Phillipsburg and Gift Box Floral & Garden in Easton, volunteered food, dessert and flowers.

"We do different stuff for the community and it was nice to see the reception," Serulneck said. "I didn't know this was such an underserved community and the mothers have been saying, 'Thanks for thinking of us.'"

"Over the years I've noticed she doesn't get a lot of credit for what she does and she doesn't want it. But she does a lot of things to help the mothers — getting up in the middle of the night, driving two hours to go talk to someone who is in crisis.”
Scott Noonan

Scott Noonan, who volunteered to set up tables and decor, called his wife "selfless" and an "angel” for her compassion toward other moms.

"Over the years I've noticed she doesn't get a lot of credit for what she does and she doesn't want it," he said.

"But she does a lot of things to help the mothers — getting up in the middle of the night, driving two hours to go talk to someone who is in crisis.”

'Not something you will ever get over'

Lisa Zukowski was among the parents in attendance who found out about the event via Facebook.

In 2015, Zukowski's daughter, Abbie, 11, was fatally hit by a car in Emmaus.

The tragedy garnered national attention (Berks County native/pop star, Taylor Swift even sent the family flowers).

But it was difficult for Zukowski to grieve publicly. She said the grief started to feel unmanageable.

Then came a visit to Hayden's House of Healing, a nonprofit based retreat center in North Arlington, New Jersey, dedicated to helping bereaved parents and families.

She said she found means to cope with Abbie's death.

Her sentiments, undoubtedly, were felt in the hearts of several mothers in the room that evening.

"I can now speak about Abbie and I like to speak about Abbie," Zukowski said. "Speaking about Abbie keeps her present and keeps her in some, in some way alive. It's not an easy thing. It's life-changing.

"It's not something that you will ever get over. It's something you have to learn, to live the new person you became, because the day that I lost her, not only I became a new person, but my entire family did, too."